AmateurMovieReviews.com

By Brandi M. Seals

What were the writers and directors thinking when they decided to make Date Movie? Clearly they were too busy being stoned out of their minds or having their bums kissed by movie executives to realize that the movie sucked - and not just a little. We are talking full on piece of crap movie that no one in their right mind should spend one cent on. Although it was written and directed by two of the five people responsible for the Scary Movie franchise (Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer) the so-called romantic-comedy and spoof movie comes up short in every way. Clearly these two were not the brains behind the Scary Movie movies.

Date Movie began torturing theater goers since February 17, 2006. It is a movie filled with little more than gross out antics and jokes that flop. With a rating of only PG13 there was only so far that the jokes could be taken. Instead of witty one-liners and other potential hilarious scenarios the film craps out with immature humor, often poop related. The film although marketed towards teenagers is only well suited for the 11-15 range. Everyone else is most likely too mature to handle this film.

The movie opens with a plus-sized Alyson Hannigan as Julia Jones in a street dance ala Austin Powers. She meets a man in her parents' Greek diner and is immediately determine to land him despite her father's (Eddie Griffin) protest that she must marry within her race - a Black Indian Japanese Jew. She visits mini Hitch (played by Tony Cox) and is soon sucked and scrubbed into a beautiful young lady at the chop shop.

Throughout the course of the 83 minute movie there are no highlights that I could pick out. However, there is a disturbing and decidedly unfunny bathroom scene with Jinxers the cat taking the biggest crap of his life. By the way, later in the movie we discover this cat's friskier side as he romances Julia's elderly human neighbor

As to fit in with other spoof movies, Date Movie is little more than a bunch of scenes from other date movies that have been dumbed down and exaggerated. Unfortunately, the spoofs and goofs that make up Date Movie are, as one might guess, ridiculous and not very funny. Of the movies spoofed are When Harry Met Sally, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Dodgeball, Meet the Fockers, My Best Friend's Wedding and other comedies. There is also a game show clearly designed to resemble The Batchelor.

Spoof movies have worked great in the past, look at Not another Teen Movie and the Scary Movie franchise. There is potential for a spoof, but it needs to be done well. It cannot be all gross out and dumb humor.

Date Movie is just one more movie in the line of several that is not up to par. The public has been inundated with several atrocious wrecks that should have never made it to the box office. I'm sorry movie execs; you must try harder if you want the people to come out to the movies and spend their hard earned money.

If after reading this you are still tempted to rent Date Movie, you are clearly in the mood for some punishment. You will wish for your money back within 5 minutes of the start of the film. The previews will be the best part of the DVD. Maybe if you are extremely immature, like stupefied humor, and are obsessed with movies like Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and Napoleon Dynamite, you will get a kick out of Date Movie. Everyone else should just save their money.

Perhaps my disappointment in this film stems from the fact that I know Alyson Hannigan can do better. I have seen her act in numerous things. She is pretty good and she does comedy well. I guess the thought of carrying a movie is what got her to sign on, but this pile of crap is not worthy of her acting. I do not know if she can make a come back in the movies after this flop. If she is lucky, only a handful of people will have seen it and associate her with this horrible piece.