AmateurMovieReviews.com

By Simon Woodhouse

Let's face it, dragons are pretty cool. They fly, they breathe fire, they look like a cross between a very big lion and a very big lizard. They've got it all going on. But alas, dragons are cursed, doomed to forever appear in terrible movies. Dragonheart - awful. Reign of Fire - abysmal. Dungeons & Dragons - unspeakably bad. There is a prophecy, however, that speaks of a time when a hero will rise, and a movie will come that'll forever free dragons from inept directors, amateur screenwriters and really, really bad actors. Could that film be Eargon? Er, no.

The hero in Eragon is Eragon (Ed Speleers), a young farm boy who lives with his Uncle Garrow (Alun Armstrong) and cousin Roran (Chris Egan). Home for these three is the land of Alagaesia, a place vaguely reminiscent of medieval Europe. Whilst out hunting in the woods one night, Eragon finds an egg. The egg hatches a few days later and out pops a baby dragon. Though this seems like a random act of chance, it's not. Dragons only hatch in the presence of their rider. Eragon doesn't know he's a dragon rider, but luckily Bram (Jeremy Irons), does. The two meet, and following the slaying of Eragon's uncle by a band of Ra'zac, set off to join the Varden freedom fighters. Along the way Eragon learns to communicate telepathically with his dragon, whose name is Saphira (voiced by Rachel Weisz).

Because every fantasy movie needs a bad guy and a maiden in distress, Eragon has King Galbatorix (John Malkovich) and Arya (Sienna Guillory). There's also a lesser baddie, in the form of Durza (Robert Carlyle). Once all the characters are in place, and the tried and trusted plot established, the movie turns into the standard fantasy quest/journey type tale.

Being a dragon movie, and part of a genre that so often produces real duds, Eragon doesn't have much to live up to. But even by comparison, it's not a very good film. And besides the curse of the dragon movie, it's suffers from another affliction - the plague of the terrible young actor in a fantasy film. This condition affects many others, the worst suffers being Harry Potter and Narnia. It's as if the casting director sent out a proclamation calling forth all the crappiest young actors in the land.

On the plus side, however, the dragon is pretty cool. It's not as scary as the lizards in Reign of Fire, or as sappy as Draco in Dragonheart. Saphira is a nice dragon, but she's still got balls. During the obligatory dragon movie money shot, when the beast sits atop a cliff, lifts its wings and roars, Saphira's got it going on. As soon as the acting starts again though, it's cringe time once more. Ed Speleers wins hands down as the worse player in the film, but perhaps he can be given some slack because he's so new to the business. John Malkovich, Robert Carlyle and Jeremy Irons, on the other hand, should all know better. Out of the three, Carlyle just beats Irons to the winners post, but that's only because his character is the most ridiculous of the two.

Sticking with the fantasy film formula right up until the last, Eragon ends with a battle. The Varden square up against the King's men, whilst Saphira and Eragon duke it out with Durza and his dark magic dragon. The dragon fighting bit isn't half bad, and had it been longer would have made for a brilliant finale. The dark magic dragon makes for a scary adversary, though if you're familiar with the Balrog in Lord of the Rings, you've already seen this beastie. As for the fighting between the Varden and the King's men, it's neither here nor there. The film offers nothing in the way of character development, and so it doesn't matter who out of the human characters lives, and who dies.

Plagiarism abounds in Eragon. When people compare its plot and cast of characters to Star Wars, they aren't kidding. There's not really an original idea in the whole movie. This may come from the fact that the book it's based on was written by a fifteen year old boy - Christopher Paolini. Much has been made of this, but Christopher's parents did own the publishing company that first released it, so perhaps he had a bit of help.

Unfortunately, the last few scenes of the movie have put in place all that's necessary for a sequel. If there's one thing worse than a terrible dragon movie, it's a terrible dragon movie sequel. And seeing as only two amongst the principle characters died, it's likely all the same cast will return - the curse lives on.