AmateurMovieReviews.com

By Simon Woodhouse

Some movies suffer from the Titanic syndrome, i.e. everyone knows the end even before the opening credits start to roll. Does this affect everything that comes before the final few reels? Yes, but if handled properly, that can be a good thing. Knowing the ultimate fate of a character (especially if it's tragic) right from the get go means there's instant sympathy. Armed with readymade, dread-filled foreshadowing, the makers of such a movie should be able to use it to their advantage. There's no need for excessive sappiness or truckloads of schmaltz. A gritty, more realistic approach can be used, especially if it means breathing new life into a familiar story. But unfortunately, because this is a riskier way of doing things, it's very rarely attempted. Especially if it means not making such a huge mega-profit.

Returning the story to its roots, this version of King Kong is set in the 1930s. It's depression era America, where only the wealthy have anything to smile about. Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) is a struggling actress, who's just about managing to get by. But life becomes a whole lot harder when the vaudeville style show she's in shuts down. At the same time, movie director Carl Denham (Jack Black) is finding it very difficult to convince studio execs to keep bankrolling his current project. These two meet by chance, and before you know it, Carl has convinced Ann to play the lead in his new movie. A rather motley cast and crew set sail from New York for Skull Island, a never-before-seen lump of rock shown on a mysterious map that's come into Carl's possession. For some reason, he thinks it'll make the perfect location for his movie. Also onboard the ship is Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody), a screenwriter hired buy Carl to pen the script.

Considering Kong is a remake, and therefore full of familiar characters, this version takes its time to introduce the various players. But that doesn't mean it's an exercise in character development. Naomi Watts gives Ann a constant puppy dog look. Jack Black suffers from an over exuberant screen presence (reminiscent of Robin Williams, and we all know how irritating he is). Whilst Adrian Brody seems totally miscast as the screenwriter, a character that's part wimp, part he-man action hero. However, all the human players are really only there to push the story towards the film's main star. After about an hour of rather dull build up, Kong himself makes an appearance.

Things go badly on Skull Island. Ann is kidnapped by the natives and offered up as a sacrifice to their god. The god in question is a twenty-five foot tall male gorilla. Previous versions of the giant ape have consisted of a stop-start motion miniature (1933) and a guy in a gorilla suit (1976). In the digital age Kong is a super-realistic CGI monster. However, this takes away some of his mysticism. Because both previous Kongs didn't look much like a real gorilla, they had a sort of other-worldliness about them. This also allowed them to behave (convincingly) in a manner that perhaps a real gorilla wouldn't. CGI Kong is all ape, which means he has to act like a real gorilla and nothing else.

Kong takes Ann deep into the island's interior, where thanks to a rather silly scene involving her performing vaudeville style tricks for him, she manages to save herself from being squished. The pace of the movie suddenly picks up here. The island is not only home to Kong, but also numerous varieties of dinosaur (most of which want to eat Ann). Ape and lizard duke it out in an extended fight scene that sees Kong save Ann from certain death.

As if trying to make up for the film's slow first hour, once the action starts it hardly stops. Some of these sequences, however, seem unnecessary (especially the bit that sees Carl and Jack trapped in a canyon full of giant insects). Various lesser members of the cast meet a grizzly end on the island, but this doesn't really register on the emotion-o-meter. They're cardboard, generic characters who can really only be described as ballast.

Thanks to Kong's devotion to Ann, he ends up being captured by Carl and co. and transported back to New York. He escapes (of course), and after rampaging through the city, finds Ann and makes his iconic ascension of the Empire State Building.

This is a long film (three hours plus), but it can be easily split into thirds. The first third is the pretty boring, overly long setup. The middle third features the dino fights and all the action on Skull Island. The last chunk is the stuff set in New York. If you want to only watch the best bits, stick to the middle third. Though there's action in the last section, it's tempered with masses of overly contrived schmaltz. There's tons of the stuff, poured on so thick it's almost choking.

Stripped of what made him more than just a big gorilla by the CGI realism, this version of Kong doesn't generate the sympathy of his predecessors. When the inevitable ending comes around, I didn't feel what I did when first watching the 1933 original. Even the 1976 remake had a more emotional ending. The 2005 Kong does all that's required of him - stands atop the Empire State and thrashes it out with circling biplanes, but (and this might make me sound a bit heartless) he just doesn't suffer enough. Previous Kongs took a real beating during the finale. Modern Kong grunts, growls and groans, but there's no heart.

All said and done, the movie is just too long. Had it been anything up to an hour shorter, it would have been a better film. Whole chunks from the beginning (especially) the middle and the end could have been jettisoned and the story wouldn't have suffered. A shorter movie would have also done away with the cloying sentimentality, the paper-thin minor characters and the unnecessary CGI creepy crawlies on Skull Island.

Is it all bad? No. In certain scenes Kong is an endearing creation. Some of the dinosaurs on Skull Island are also quite good (even though we've seen them all before thanks to Jurassic Park). The principle players have their moments, but on the whole they just seem miscast and overshadowed by the great ape. As with so many modern blockbusters, King Kong is a missed opportunity. All the pieces were there, but they were arranged wrongly. Perhaps in a few years time when someone else has a go, they'll get it really right.