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Benjamin Wood
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Score: 2.5/5

A trilogy is, as defined by Webster's Dictionary, "A series of three dramas which, although each of them is in one sense complete, have a close mutual relation, and form one historical and poetical picture." Trilogies have been around since the days of Ancient Greece, where tragedies were often performed in sets of three. Quadrilogy, meanwhile, has no current dictionary definition, and has seemingly only entered the public vernacular recently, in regards to movies that could not stand pat at being merely trilogies. Unfortunately, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (henceforth known simply as Crystal Skull) turns the great Indiana Jones trilogy into a flawed and unnecessarily long Indiana Jones quadrilogy.

The Indiana Jones trilogy always had the bad fortune to be Harrison Ford and George Lucas' "second best trilogy," paling in comparison to the Star Wars trifecta. That being said, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade were both excellent films, and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was a good film, most likely being remembered poorly because it was sandwiched in between two far superior films. Temple of Doom, however, is now no longer the worst of the Indiana Jones series. Crystal Skull makes Temple of Doom look like Raiders of the Lost Ark, and threatens to put a slight damper on many fond memories

Crystal Skull suffers mainly from two things: (1) The story is horrible. Not just bad compared to the other three Indiana Jones movies, but bad in general. It tries to roll four or five separate storylines into a single one, and ends up coming off as schizophrenic and ridiculous. (2) The action in Crystal Skull is hokey and requires the viewer to suspend their disbelief far beyond the levels that were needed to enjoy the first three movies.

The main plotline in Crystal Skull involves Indy trying to escape from Soviet agents, surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator (how's that for having to suspend one's disbelief?), escape from more Soviets, recover an ancient relic in Peru (the crystal skull for which the movie is named), escape more Soviets, take the skull to an ancient temple located somewhere in Brazil, escape a variety of traps and (gasp!) more Soviets, and ultimately find out what the power is that the relic holds. Unfortunately, it all comes off as half-assed and disjointed, with Cold War sentiments combined with government conspiracies, ancient Mayan treasure, and an ample dose of psychic powers and paranormal events. There we go, no fewer than 4 urban myths trying to combine into some sort of uber-story. Unfortunately, the whole is much, much less than the sum of its parts.

In fact, the story seems more like a George Lucas parody than anything. The main plotline combines stale historical events like the first three Indiana Jones movies with paranormal events that seem like Star Wars rejects. Spielberg's directing doesn't fare much better, with the film coming off as A History of Spielberg instead of an actual movie. He borrows ideas from many of his classic movies (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Last Crusade, E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind), yet does nothing of real interest. Part of that could be the horribly obtuse story, but the laziness of his latest few works seems to have seeped into Crystal Skull as well, and the entire thing is plagued by a tinge of boredom.

All that said, there are a couple of positives which keep Crystal Skull from being a complete disaster. The actors all seem relatively comfortable in their roles, with Harrison Ford being the most exciting, showing flashes of the old Indiana Jones despite being in his mid-sixties. Karen Allen does a great job of reprising her role as Marion Ravenwood (now Mary Williams), and the chemistry between her and Ford doesn't seem nearly as forced as expected. Cate Blanchett does what she can with the material she's given, giving a fairly good (if stereotypical) Eastern European accent, and making her character bearable, something the script didn't do. John Hurt and Ray Winstone do serviceable jobs with their roles, although neither is spectacular. The weakest member of the cast, Shia LeBeouf, surprised me by not being annoying as hell as sidekick "Mutt" Williams, but he didn't win me over with his performance, either.

Secondly, the film does have some of the lighthearted humor that made the first films so enjoyable, and the banter between characters is, for the most part, enjoyable. It's nothing special (and at times you start to suspect that the "homages" to the earlier films might've just been screenwriting apathy), but it helps keep the viewers from being too bogged down by the unnecessarily stupid main plot.

It's a shame that Crystal Skull was nothing more than a mediocre retread, but it was not unexpected. More and more we seem to be buried in sequels to long dead movie franchises, and for every one that is good, there are five or more that make you yearn for the films of old. If anything, the most positive thing about Crystal Skull is that it expediated the release of the special edition DVDs of the older films. Those show what both Lucas and Spielberg are capable of.

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